The feeling of despair at the thought of settling for a mundane “real” world nine till five job once graduating from university seems to be playing a large part in encouraging an ever growing amount of British graduates to pick up sticks and move to China. But why?
Well, it’s easier to get an English teaching job in the future world superpower than it is to get a interview to flip burgers at your local McDonald’s: all you need is a bog standard degree – which could even be easily forged – and you’re set. Even your Uncle Bob’s plumbing MVQ certificate would probably suffice as the Chinese aren’t really overly bothered about it – they just want a pretty western face to parade around the school in order to please all the parents who are paying for their kids’ English education. None of this TEFL malarkey that so many teacher/would-be travellers pay copious amounts of cash for is actually needed in much of mainland China for teaching jobs.
Having discovered this information, once I left university and had travelled around Europe a little in the summer, the idea of a guaranteed job in a far away foreign land of chopsticks, dragons and long walls spoke volumes to me. Without having to speak Chinese or enrol on any type of pre-course, it seemed like it was too good of an opportunity to turn down – working in a kindergarten teaching little kids the alphabet whilst experiencing a full cultural immersion sounded like a breeze.
But that was the problem, it was too easy. I spent most of my 10 hour days being a spare part, thinking about all the time I was wasting when I could be traveling and exploring. The initial novelty of the job wore off quickly as I became bored with the long hours and lack of actual teaching. I spent most of my time sitting in the corner of the class or having to perform Butlins redcoat style dance moves – every morning in the school yard I had to lead over 100 kids in some kind of hybrid Macarena/ Cha Cha Slide/ Hokey Pokey/ Timewarp dance routine.
☛ More Dancing: Dangerous New Butt Dance
I hadn’t signed up for Strictly Come Dancing, I mean fair enough I do like the occasional fist pump but it just became way too much. Within 3 weeks I’d had enough of the dance routines and the afternoon boredom of sitting around in kindergarten. Life in the 10 million person strong city of Wuhan soon became a chore so I applied for dozens of other jobs throughout China in different institutions. Universities, high schools and teaching centres – some replied whilst others didn’t.
None of these jobs really excited me that much until I came across one in a neighbouring province. Surprisingly it was half the hours of the kindergarten yet double the wage I’d been receiving, along with a free apartment and all bills paid for. Did I mention I’d have my own driver too?
The thought of getting this job sounded pretty damn cool but I thought it would be unlikely I’d get it since I’d had no real prior teaching experience and didn’t speak a word of Chinese. Yet I frantically applied for it as I was due to be kicked out of my flat in Wuhan for leaving my dancing gig at the local kindergarten.
☛ More Chinese: A Sadistic Glimpse Into The World Of Chinese Prisons